The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster by Pastafarian Milek from venganza.org


Arrr. Ahoy Mateys. Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day. As myself was perusing the wikipedia entry for Talk Like a Pirate Day, we stumbles upon our new official religion. As fearful as we are of the cancer gods, we're afeared that The Flying Spaghetti Monster ranks as the highest deity. This day be an official holiday of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Me thinks we already knew about The Flying Spaghetti Monster, and had a small lapse of memory arrr.

We beg thee to please go read the wikipedia entry on this important matter. Aye, it be long, but it is well worth it's read. 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster

A humorous read also well worth the reading..
Uncyclopedia - The Content-Free Encyclopedia entry
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster

And one more.
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster

Link to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (where one can also get official ordination certificates!!!)
http://www.venganza.org/


The famous painting Touched by His Noodly Appendage.

Image of Touched by His Noodly Appendage from Venganza.Org

Chart showing that global warming is a direct effect of the decreasing numbers of pirates since the 1800's.

Talk Like a Pirate Day

Ahoy Mateys!

September the 19th be Talk Like a Pirate Day.
Arrr. Now swab the decks ye landlubber and shiver me timbers read my blog!

September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day. I just thought I should let everyone know about this. Arrr. 
Here is the official website!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
And from the website, the direct link to HOW to Talk Like a Pirate!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/howto.html
This will teach you some proper pirate words such as 
Ahoy
Avast
Aye
Arrr
You will also find useful pickup lines in piratese! 
Take this useful quiz to find out your pirate name!
http://www.piratequiz.com/
Or go the easy route and just spit out name after name and pick your favorite!
http://online-generator.com/name-generator/pirate-name-generator.php
And here Wikipedia gives you the whole scoop on Talk Like a Pirate Day.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Talk_Like_a_Pirate_Day
There are many articles on Talk Like a Pirate Day such as this one :
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/kidspost/aarrr-get-ready-for-talk-like-a-pirate-day/2014/09/...
And one more informational website on Talk Like a Pirate Day.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/talk-like-a-pirate-day

So, remember what to do on the 19th! Talk Like a Pirate!
Arrr.



Here be a picture of some pirate treasure!

By aussiegall from sydney, Australia (Pirates Booty  Uploaded by russavia) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

The Great Hunt

In the middle of last night I went upstairs and in the hallway I saw something humongous that looked like either a spider or a cricket. I hate hate hate bugs. Ugh. They give me the heebie jeebies. 

First thing I did was run into the bathroom and grab a heavy canister of lysol wipes and a plastic bag. I covered the canister with the bag and tried to put it on top of the monstrous bug. It jumped and I lost it. 

I turned on all the lights and started hunting. I picked up a long pole that is sitting in the hallway that I have used to get stinkbugs off the ceiling so I could dispose of them, and started using it as my mover stick. I didn't want to use my hands to sift through the pile of bags and stuff in the corner by the linen closet in case the behemoth tried to attack me, so I used the stick to move things. I was not having any luck in finding the scary monster. So, I went downstairs and armed myself with a flashlight as well as the stick. 

I went back upstairs and I turned on my trusty flashlight and started poking the pile some more and moving things around. Nothing. I looked in the linen closet again and poked around with the stick. Nothing. I kept searching. Finally, my eyes alighted on a foreign object on the side of a box well removed from the immediate area that I had been searching. Aha, the mammoth bug! 

My heart started beating a mile a minute as the fear took over. But all I had was myself and my trusty pole and a heavy gallon water jug that I had also armed myself with. I took the end of the pole and brushed the colossal monster off the box. It bounded away in a mighty leap. OMG! Lost again. And, found. I saw it sitting there taunting me. Come and get me it said. HAHAHAHHAHA. I took my mighty gallon water jug and tried to trap it underneath. It sneered at me and snuck in a space between the molding. I took my mighty stick and tried to move it out but it was glued inside it's safe place. Oh great, now what do I do. I just can't let this monstrosity roam around my house. 

I went downstairs again and picked up my trusty fly swatter and a plastic bag and some tape. I can make a tool almost as good as McGuyver can! I wrapped the bag around the swatting part of the fly swatter and I took a hunk of tape and made a loop so the the sticky part was on the outside and stuck the tape to the fly swatter and carried my masterpiece of engineering up to assist me in my hunt for the great beast. I took the fly swatter and tried to coax the hulking creature out of it's little safe cave. It worked! But oh no, it's bounding and leaping again. My heart is pounding. It lands and I swat. And I swat again. And again. The repugnant critter doesn't move. I'm sure it's just faking. I pick up the water jug and quickly affix another piece of tape to the bottom and quickly place it on top of the loathsome horror. 

Yay!!! I win. I have saved myself and H from the savage vermin. All is once again calm except for the rapid beating of my scared silly heart.

Camel Cricket by Neda Dilmaghanian - Photograph. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons

Citizen Scientists Document the Spread of Giant Cricket, Basement to Basement

http://www.yourwildlife.org/2013/09/citizen-scientists-document-the-spread-of-giant-cricket-basement-to-basement/#prettyPhoto

Rhaphidophoridae

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhaphidophoridae

Suffering

Be aware of your suffering May 19, 2014

What exactly does the word "suffering" point to in your actual experience? Observe the sensations and thoughts associated with this. Is suffering real or imagined?


suffering is real. when you experience it you will know. if you want to call suffering imagined, just ask anyone who has a serious illness or injury or is dying. ask anyone who is starving to death. ask anyone who is beaten tortured and killed by any number of ways, such as war, pure evilness, false religious ideals, control by fear and power, etc. if that is all imaginary then all of life is imaginary. suffering is a part of life on earth and it probably happens to some extent to all land animals and ocean creatures. I'm not so sure about plants and non mammalian and snake/lizard creatures like one celled or multicelled organisms, but I think I have read that studies show that plants react positively or negatively to surprising actions. suffering may not be how YOU would experience it as a human being, but i believe that it exists on all levels. most people know the yin yan thinking and for there to be one thing, there has to be another. it would be wonderful and a dream to think that there could be no suffering, but its never going to happen. the best that we can do is lessen it to the best of our abilities, but alas we are not even good at that. humans are good at making other humans, creatures of all sorts, even our entire planet earth, suffer. and I am all too aware of my own suffering, as I am being killed by cancer. I believe we would have come up with a fix for cancer already if it were not for some peoples' and or entities/institutions greed for the almighty dollar (or any other currency or form of financial wealth and power) . suffering is too real. it is too common. it is too sad. 

Accept

I have not been writing any haiku lately. I seem to have lost that for now.

I guess it is called writers block. But I have still been writing, just not haiku.

These days my writing is based on an app that I have, called Conscious.

I will be posting these write ups here.

Accept May 20, 2014

Direct some love towards yourself and towards others today. Be understanding with your mistakes and others'. Accept yourself as you are right now and accept everyone else as they are right now. Non-acceptance is suffering.

hogwash. the exercise is a very good one up until the statement that not accepting is suffering. that is just a ridiculous statement. it is a statement made by someone who does not know the real state of suffering and has never really suffered. let me tell you. I have cancer which is killing me. i lived a healthier life than most so you cant even point your finger and try to blame me for cancer getting me. last night I was very scared and still am. I will list some of the things that are going on in my body right now. I have a huge sore on the roof of my mouth the hard palate that is very painful and makes eating very uncomfortable. I dont have any appetite but have to make myself eat. the mouth pain is referring to my throat and left ear. I have weird red bumps on my skin that look like tiny blood blisters. my toes constantly get irritations and I have to bandage them to protect them and slather thick body cream on them. other parts of my skin get weird irritations. the crease where your leg meets the body in the front is cracked and irritated and makes it feel like something is digging in to me like a pressure. i can't see as well particularly in one eye and my eyes get dry and irritated. I have an almost permanent sniffle. sometimes my lungs get a burny feeling. I have acid reflux. currently my most worrisome problem is my legs. last night I noticed that my left knee above the kneecap had developed a pain and the area behind my knees were feeling bad as well. it appears as though my knee area may be swollen. all I know is that my knees used to have a shape and now they look puffy and you cant see the kneecap. my legs ache and feel weird and wrong. the pressure of sitting on them is uncomfortable. but when I walk they feel like they are asleep minus the pins and needles so walking is kind of scary and i end up shuffling and walking like I have wooden legs. last night I had an extreme sensation of coldness of my legs although my legs were not cold to the touch. it was like deep freezer air was surrounding them and I was very chilled. I had to put two extra blankets on even though it isn't cold here. and no I dont have a fever. so tell me not to be attached to the things that are happening to my body. tell me not to worry and fret and be afraid because you think detachment will cure all suffering. the acceptance part, I have no choice in that matter. but love it? you have got to be kidding me. I am f'ing dying and I'm supposed to be detached and love it. what a bunch of crock. I am physically suffering which in turn creates emotional suffering and you just dont know. you just dont know. I AM attached to my body. I AM attached to living. I AM attached to my possessions and I believe this is all perfectly natural and normal. we are human animals and this is what we do. without attachment there would be nothing. no love no compassion no altruism. YIN YAN. the circle. the two sides. yes it should balance but there cant be one without the other. I love this app and have enjoyed it for a year but sometimes I feel a need to express myself in response to a challenge and the bizarre nature of being supposed to think and act in a certain way. the two words detachment and love just don't mesh. but as part of the app I will close by saying I accept you who have bizarre thought processes and I love you as human animals anyway. 

Trees

This is a short essay that I wrote on the life of trees.

I was not outside today but I love trees.

I love them in all their seasons.

in winter the majestic beauty of their outlines. no two the same, sort of
like snowflakes, yet each variety can have a similar pattern. this is my
favorite time, when they are getting ready for their "rebirth".

then comes spring, when their "blood" / sap starts coursing through
their "veins" / trunk and branches,  and tiny buds of spring green leaves
start bursting forth creating an impressionistic painting of a tree.

after spring is the dark deep adult green of the mighty tree fully dressed
in its finest glory. lush large perfect leaves providing shade and homes
and food for so many other living creatures.

then finally comes autumn. the end of the cycle but also the most colorful.
a dreamy earthy wonderland of color.  leaves of fiery red and orange and
yellow. leaves of dark yellow and light green. leaves falling off the life
providing and sustaining trees, creating a gorgeous and fantastic carpet
of color.

and finally losing their color and turning brown, the final leaves dropping
down and contributing to the nourishment of the surrounding earth.

to begin the cycle again.

How could I forget the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who!!!!

Doctor Who All the Doctors

Doctor Who's Google

Doodle for 50th

Anniversary!!!

Oh my goodness! I didn't really forget it was the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who, I just
didn't write anything about it or keep much track of it other than the delightfully time
wasting Google doodle from the other day. I did manage to complete it but I sure was
slowwwwww.


Honestly I liked the old Doctor Whos and after Doctor Who went off the air and then they 
started it back up again, I really didn't get back into it. 

Back to that Google doodle though. I absolutely LOVED it once I figured out what
I was supposed to do. It was so much fun. 

Here are two screen shots. One from the very beginning and one from when you
complete the challenge. This is just to prove that I did actually complete it...as you 
can see, the incredibly long time it took me.

 I will try to find a link to someone going through the entire game because it is 
awfully cute.

Okie dokie, here is a link to a quick run through of the entire game on youtube.

Doctor Who Google Doodle - Speed Run & Walkthrough by Larry Chupacabra



 And here is a link to the Google Doodle Dr Who game so you can try it yourself
if you missed it!

Doctor Who's 50th Anniversary Google Doodle Game




Further links to Doctor Who information.

BBC1 Doctor Who Website 

Doctor Who on Wikipedia 



So happy anniversary Doctor Who!!!!

Let me know who your favorite Doctor was in a comment below! 
 
I am kind of partial to Tom Baker myself although 
I really like David Tennant as well, ok and Jon Pertwee too!
Ok, yeah, those are my favorites. :)